cacahuate

Molly: I had an evil idea this weekend.
Ralitsa: What was your evil idea, Molly?
Molly: Well, I thought if I were ever evil and rich, I'd create a game show, and the winner would get a million dollars. But in the fine print that nobody would read it would specify that the million dollars would be entirely in nonrefundable Quizno's coupons.
Ralitsa: Wow.
Sheila: I would not mind that. I'd be set.
Molly: Yeah but remember that you'd have spent the whole time in the game excited that you were gonna win a million dollars, and then you win and you're happy, and after like six weeks of processing or whatever you get a million dollars that you can only spend on sandwiches.
Erin: And soup.
Molly: And soup.

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Sheila: You know what I would do? I would go to a Quizno's and stand outside and stop people and go, "Hey, you going in there? Yes, I think you are! [strange accent] How do you like this, I give you coupon, you give me money, OK?"
Molly: But then you'd have a million dollars all in ones.
Sheila: I would not mind. With a million dollars in ones you could go to a lot of strip clubs and make a lot of people happy.

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Molly: I was trying to think of something eviler than Quizno's coupons, but...
Erin: Baby food.
Molly: Yes. Baby food coupons.
Erin: 'Cause that would stop being good after about two years. You'd be like, "OK, now they're grown up..."
Molly: "And I'm sick of mashed bananas!"
Sheila: "My teeth are decaying from lack of use!"
Molly: "My teeth are atrophying!"

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Molly: But anyway I wanted something truly useless.
Erin: Ladles.
Molly: Oh my God, yes, ladles. A million ladles.
Erin: Laaaadles.
Sheila: Let's all say it once together.
All: Llllllaaaaaadles.